"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I will be found by you,” declares the LORD

Jeremiah 29:11-14a

_ I believe in You o Lord _

trusting You.. and Holding on to Your promises... You said it will be fine... It will be fine!

Thank You

More than Life

Stand by everything You said
Stand by the promises we made
Let go of everything I 've done
I'll run into Your open arms
And all I know

I love You more than life
I love You more than life

Fall back on everything You've done
Fall back on everlasting arms
When all the world is swept away
You are all the things I need
You're the air I breathe

How can it be
You were the one on the cross
Lifted for all our shame?
How can it be
The scars in Your hands are for me?
You are the king of all

Me preaching to myself.. -strengthening myself in the Lord

Im in a sensitive mode.. and usually during this time i would chuck a pity party for myself.. dwell in negativity... but today is different! i will try to ACT what i hear...

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

in all circumstances... it is all good! God will not give me something that is bad for me... circumstances that seems to be bad for me... its just my perspective... my senses feel it bad.. my soul thinks its bad... but God's word say that EVERYTHING works for the GOOD! .. i know its just You letting all that happened to process me to be a better person so that i could live life according to Your purpose not mine..

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸ may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. - Eph 3:16-19

Thank you pastor Kong for reminding me this... God's love is just amazing, awesome, beyond measure, surpasses knowledge, no words can fathom.. But the width of God's love [His Acceptance], the length of God's love [His Faithfulness], the Height of God's love [His nobility], and the depth of God's love [I would like to call this... His humanity, who feels what I feel]... all His love.. is for me! My God is with me.. eternally!

as Paul said...in Phil 3:8 ~ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ

if God is willing to leave His majestic throne to save my life.. He died in the most uncool + shameful way for the world.. you and me... what else could i ask for? what is this life for? if its not for you... if its not for me and my flesh to die.. and bring this shattered heart for Jesus.. what else would this life for?

this life is just a temporary... but in this temporary place.. God wants me to bring impact to the world.. a purpose to do.. a mission to accomplish... my purpose + mission is starting with me obeying His command.. though my body + soul wants to go to.. longs to be with someone I am not meant to.. my first step is to o b e y + s u r r e n d e r

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” - Hebrews 11:6

I have to keep up my faith..! what is faith?

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. ² This is what the ancients were commended for. Hebrews 11:1

God says i have Hope in Him.. He has a plan for my future.. I gotta believe in what He said! though i cant see it now.. i need to keep on Hoping in God! keep my faith in Him.. coz He is faithful!


Paul said...It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Gal 5:1

it is for freedom.. what is freedom for me??

I am like a children... when my parents says im free i would think i can eat as much yummy food i want... i can eat junk.. sugar.. not exercise..liquid brown gold (chocolate).. cold gold (ice cream) have a full access of unlimited goodness...i am free to follow what i feel like doing..(fleshly life) but in the end my freedom will bring me to sickness + obesity +unhealthy life + a materialistic life + depression.. and the list go on...

So lets have a look on the freedom that God offer us..
God is our Father... He basically is like our parents... when our parents told us not to have too much candy or kfc, not to play with fire, to sleep earlier, not to play games too much, to study [restriction a.k.a not freedom a.k.a as a kid we would think NOT COOL, not fun, and at times its hard] but now that i am bigger.. i know the purpose of those things is for me.. my protection.. and to let His plan in my life works!

the restriction God ask me to do.. most times makes me feel lonely like im walking by myself...
but again this is just a matter of perspective.. when my soul is focusing on my body instead of the spirit the more depressed i would be... but when i re-remember God's love with me.. i am transforming my mind like it says in Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. I am re-focusing my mind to Christ! when i transform my mind.. when i learn to let my soul focus more on my spirit.. my body will follow what my soul focusing on..

I am remembering God's goodness.. where im going is where God wants me to go.. so be strong girl! its good when its lonely... coz you can depend more on God..

Thank U God.. with Your words.. it all feels better too...

no matter from where the perspective is.. its just personal isnt it? and i just gotta accept it?
ic..

forgive me?

i know it has been a while... but i just realize that 2 people in the same room can actually avoid each other... i thought it was just in the movies... but it actually now happening to me? unless its just me being too sensitive?

i dont know what i did wrong to you...
i dont exactly know what u did wrong to me..
i know there are circumstances that somehow along the way this past i dunno how many years make things what it is today...
i know there are thing i dont like u to do but u do..
but i know... u just cant help it..

i dont have any expectation of us.. nor u..
i know it wont make any difference for you whether or not we are friends..
but i just have this weird feeling with whats happening.. hmm..
theres no peace nor rest in my heart when i see us...
people say its normal.. should i ignore it? block it? pretend nothing is wrong?
what should i do?

i just want to say sorry to you...
sorry that i hurt you with what i did.. do.. or will do..
and please dont tell me "its okay people hurts other people sometimes" or something like that...
in the end.. it doesnt feel genuine..
hmmm... (am i expecting something there? sorry)
please forgive me..

if i could hope.. maybe one day it will be different..
if not.. im just hoping that u would forgive me gal..

i somehow amazed at you.. a bit envy... but its time for me to be me...
and i just wanna say sorry to you....

would you forgive me? (u might not even read this...)
want to speak to u...but i dont think u want to speak to me..
i dunno what to do.. ><


..........................................

i dont use to hate you.. i was just sad... but bit by bit i let the seed of anger.. bitterness.. jealousy, envy in my heart... and i can feel it that what i feel is now different and its not good.. but i thank God.. along this time He remind me.. this isnt good.. this isnt what He wants me to do... if i ask WWJD? i know for sure Jesus wouldnt do what i did... i tried to pray for you.. and i am genuine with my prayers for u.... but sometimes i let my jealousy rule over me more than the Spirit... now its time to change?
im sorry..


so..what to learn? “In your anger do not sin.. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold - Eph 4:26-27"


im sorry God.. im sorry you... please forgive me...?
........................................

sorry.. if this is such a weird blog... ><
a very gloomy day in sydney..

*deep breaths*
This is the day that the Lord has made.. i will rejoice and be glad in it...!

aching... Lord... its so painful.. T T it aches so much that i can feel it physically.. Help me o Lord.. anytime i feel like giving it all up and run.. but everytime You strengthen me to stay.. Lord.. hold my hand through all this.. would You? You are my strength You are my peace You are whom i run to You o my God is faithful You are the reason i can still go to work You are the reason i can still smile You are the reason i live

klo sama Tuhan.. pasti bisa!

How to keep rejoicing + praising God when you dont feel like to?
How to keep smiling when you are crying on the inside?
How to love when all you want to do is hate that person or people?
How do you hold your tears when all you want to do is just burst out?

the answer is you choose, you decide!

what i do is.. thinking how great my God is.. and I decide to choose You..
no matter what my circumstances are..
I will choose to believe You have my best interest in heart.. I will choose to believe that You have my future secured..

I have a new Hope from You... I have such a great destiny [in] You.. and I dont have time and extra energy to sulk on [my] problems. You have a plan for me.. and You have given me the strength to overcome all the struggles that will be on my way.

I will decide, choose, commit to the purpose and destiny You've prepared + paid + chosed.

I have such a great God.. He will NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER forsake nor leave me.

there's nothing that i can or can [not] that would make You change Your mind about me. I am a daughter of the Most High. Nothing in His name is impossible for me to do.

My life is for You..
My heart is for You..
my family is for You..
my future is for You..
My love is for You..

so anything that is not according to Your will.. though I love so much.. I am giving it all to You! and You only! work through me bless through me use me take me Daddy.. to a place where You gonna take me..

no more negativity no more compromise no more looking back my only choice is to move forward toward the destiny You've set.

thank You Father for everything! for Your patience + compassion + mercy when I am so stubborn... for every comfort and love..

i thank You for ever friend who cares + dont care + wake me up to my dreams through many ways (gentle, wack me, whisper, kick me) i thank all of you..

God...

if my free will drift me away from Yours..
force it back to me Lord!

I dont want to be anywhere else outside Your plan!

Its better to fight in a war within the will of God.. than laying in a beach outside the will of God.

God.. this heart n life.. for You! only for You and Your glory..!

a quote from Jaeson Ma

My hope is in God.
It is in times of crisis that we are called to release creativity.
It is in times of fear that we are called to walk by faith.
It is in times of testing that we are called to be a testimony.
It is in times of panic that we have an unexplainable peace.
We are the hope of the world.
We are the children of God.
We are more than conquerors.
We are not here for survival, we are here for revival.

I look at You :)

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everbody needs a song.
A beautiful melody,
When the night's so long.
Cause there is no guarantee,
That this life is easy.

Yeah when my world is falling apart.
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore.
That's when I, I, I look at you.

When I look at you,
I see forgiveness,
I see the truth.
You love me for who I am,
Like the stars hold the moon,
Right there where they belong.
and I know im not alone.

Yeah when my world is falling apart,
When there's no light to break up the dark,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore,
That's when I, I, I look at you.

You, appear just like a dream to me.
Just like kaleidoscope colors,
That cover me,
All I need,
Every breath that I breathe,
Don't you know you're beautiful!

Yeah

When the waves are flooding the shore,
and I can't find my way home anymore,
That's when I, I, I look at you.
I look at you, Yeah, Woah.

You, appear just like a dream to me.


Lord... I <3 U...

Lord I love you!

no matter what i wanna thank You for all that You've done.. let to happen.. that I become who i am now..

You are God who is above my circumstances!
no matter what happened.. whats happening and what will happen..
You are my faithful Father

no matter i have my hair short or long
make up no make up
brush my teeth or not
if i look pretty today or not
You love me still..

Father... I love YOU.. I love YOU...
draw me deeper in <3 with You Lord! ^^

Tuhan...

2011...a Year of Victory...

I believe.. this year God will work mightyly.. No matter what are the circumstances I see now.. I know God is at work.. Many times I dont see His hand is at work.. simply because its just too hard to believe.. But I will trust His heart..
His Love will never end...it will never fail
His hope wont disappoint..
His promises will be kept...
His mercy last...
He is faithful...

I believe.. He has redeemed + restored and now He's calling us..

I thank You Lord... I believe in You.. I will keep Your promises at heart..
Jeremiah 29:11 ... I have a hope in You.. a future in You.. You know me best.. and You work for my best interest..

been too long that ive going round and round.. this year... will be a year of Victory... Once for all.. i will let this heart suffer.. and let You be my Victory!

wish i have someone i can cry, laugh, storytell with..

atm.. i wish i have a shoulder to cry on... T.T
very tired

....

hmm... just realized that ive been wasting so much time... looking for things in the wrong places..
and just realized that the consequences i have to pay seems to so large.. =(
so sad..

hmm.. what to do now? what to do now?

><

just wanna break down and cry sometimes.. but usually that doesnt help much..
hmm..


can only cry out to You and finding the things i need in the right direction...
but whats in the future.. whats next.. im still clueless..
please help me somehow..? =(

T T


when everything had happened..
when i have no friend..
when trusts are broken..
when tears are shed..
when hope is lost...
when pain surrounds..
in these long hour of my sorrow..
when a laughter fails to comfort..
when my heart ache..
when confusion is all around me..
when i dont think i can go on...
when the darkness is my closest friend..

Lord.. i can only cling to You.. *cries out*

love this song to the max... =D


I'm so mad at you right now
That I can't think straight
And I should shut my mouth
So I don't let out the cruel things I say

Cuz when love starts out
It's all peachy
I love you, you love me seems easy
It's like a walk in the park
But sometimes it takes an act of my will
And a walk in a park turns to uphill

But I promise to give you my heart
I will choose to love you, yeahh
Even though I wanna stay mad
Even though I wanna get angry
Though it may be easier to walk away
I will choose to stay & love you

Love is just so beautiful
sometimes it takes work
And the ones you love
At times can leave you so hurt

Cuz when love starts out
It's all peachy
I love you, you love me seems easy
It's like a walk in the park
But the picture of love some try to paint
It's a contrast to the real landscape
But I promise to give you my heart

I will choose to love you, yeahh
Even though I wanna stay mad
Even though I wanna get angry
Though it may be easier to walk away
I will choose to stay
I choose you, I choose you, yeahh
I choose youuI choose you everyday
I choose you

Some people think that love is just a feeling
So they fall out of love as quickly as they fell in
Some people think that love is just a game
But they the ones who always seem to end up getting played
Though everything around might change
One thing will still remain
I will choose to love you, yeahh

Even though I wanna stay mad
Even though I wanna get angry
Though it may be easier to walk away
I will choose to stay
I choose youuuuu
I choose youu, heyy yeahh
I choose youu, whoooww
I choose you everyday
I choose you


...............................................................

randomness..

David Choi lagunya enak juga yahh ternyata... tadi dengerin "That Girl" sama "By My Side"..
sama d'cinnamons.. "Ku yakin Cinta" juga enak..

duh di kantor tapi gak pengen kerja.. gimana yaa? XD

pengen cepet2 dapet kerjaan baru.. yahhh? yah Father?

belakangan ini... kata2.. "there's always Hope" selalu terngiang2...
God has something better...
Hope for the future...

aghh.. i do believe.. but plz help me o Lord... slap me in the face or something..
coz this heart always dragging... im running but always looking to the past..
so all i get is just .. jatuh2.. kesandung sana sini.. nabrak kanan kiri...
when will i reach my destiny if i keep doing so?

kalimat ini juga sering terngiang2... "Love... sometimes when the person you love reject your love... its not your fault... stop blaming urself for it.."
hmm... maybe its right...
but everytime i think that ive lost my _ _ a _ i just cant stop these tears to fall down..
owhh well.. since last sat prayer meeting...
ive decided.. ill let u go my _ _ a _...
i pray that u'll find what u're looking for..
ill be the 1st one to be happy to see you back on track with our Father...
ill try my best to leave everything behind and look forward for the future..
ill miss u a lot... but... yeah... sudahlah.... *sniffs*


ndaaaaa.................... thank u for being there.. ^^
im so happy that i could find you...
Ci.. and Ko.. juga... icha juga.. hahaha jadi malu perasaan sering ketangkep icha pas lagi 'netes'
hahhaa.. cici stella juga.. XD (walo ga bkalan baca blog ini...) well banyak sih yang gak bakalan baca.. tapi thank you yahh.. esp U God... what would i be without U.. Ur never ending mercies and grace... dont give up on me yet o Lord.. please dont... ill one day be that Great woman U created me to be..

for now.. i need to keep those (-)vity out of my mind..
coz... everytime i see them.. i cant help myself but to compare..
feel sad and down.. T.T
hikss..
errhh.. Semangat Julya Semangat! U are in the process of being the one God created U to be!


udah ah hari ini ya? hehehe..back to work.. err.. trying to work! =)

"Time To Grow" by Lemar

Last night I tried but I couldn't sleep
Thoughts of you were in my head
I was lonely and I needed you next to me
Life is harder since you left

I never meant to do you wrong
And now all is said and done
I hope you won't be gone too long... No


Where do I go
What do I do
I can't deny I still feel something
And girl, I wish you could say you feel the same
You've broken the bond
I gotta move on
But how do I end this lonely feeling?
You've gone, I'm here, alone
I guess it's time to grow

I try to speak, but my words never catch the air
Like you never knew I was there
Take me back to the days when you really cared
Can we make love re-appear?
I can't go on the roads too long

And now all is said and done
I can't go forward if my heart's still where i'm coming from

Crying time is over
I know I can't control her feelings
If she won't return, then I guess I'll be a man
and move on
Time to grow
And move on

Make life better than it was before
Time to grow and move on
Make love better than I did before

Though you've gone
And I'm here, alone
I guess it's time to grow


Owh I miss you so bear..... T.T

Wondering... how are you?

...You are for me...

So faithful
So constant
So loving and so true
So powerful in all you do

You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weaknesses
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are


So patient
So gracious
So merciful and true
So wonderful in all you do

You fill me
You see me
You know my every move
You love for me to sing to you


I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come downEven if to write upon my heart
To remind me that
I know that you are for me
I know that you are for me
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness
I know that you have come down
Even if to write upon my heart
To remind me who you are