forgive me?

i know it has been a while... but i just realize that 2 people in the same room can actually avoid each other... i thought it was just in the movies... but it actually now happening to me? unless its just me being too sensitive?

i dont know what i did wrong to you...
i dont exactly know what u did wrong to me..
i know there are circumstances that somehow along the way this past i dunno how many years make things what it is today...
i know there are thing i dont like u to do but u do..
but i know... u just cant help it..

i dont have any expectation of us.. nor u..
i know it wont make any difference for you whether or not we are friends..
but i just have this weird feeling with whats happening.. hmm..
theres no peace nor rest in my heart when i see us...
people say its normal.. should i ignore it? block it? pretend nothing is wrong?
what should i do?

i just want to say sorry to you...
sorry that i hurt you with what i did.. do.. or will do..
and please dont tell me "its okay people hurts other people sometimes" or something like that...
in the end.. it doesnt feel genuine..
hmmm... (am i expecting something there? sorry)
please forgive me..

if i could hope.. maybe one day it will be different..
if not.. im just hoping that u would forgive me gal..

i somehow amazed at you.. a bit envy... but its time for me to be me...
and i just wanna say sorry to you....

would you forgive me? (u might not even read this...)
want to speak to u...but i dont think u want to speak to me..
i dunno what to do.. ><


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i dont use to hate you.. i was just sad... but bit by bit i let the seed of anger.. bitterness.. jealousy, envy in my heart... and i can feel it that what i feel is now different and its not good.. but i thank God.. along this time He remind me.. this isnt good.. this isnt what He wants me to do... if i ask WWJD? i know for sure Jesus wouldnt do what i did... i tried to pray for you.. and i am genuine with my prayers for u.... but sometimes i let my jealousy rule over me more than the Spirit... now its time to change?
im sorry..


so..what to learn? “In your anger do not sin.. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold - Eph 4:26-27"


im sorry God.. im sorry you... please forgive me...?
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sorry.. if this is such a weird blog... ><
a very gloomy day in sydney..

*deep breaths*
This is the day that the Lord has made.. i will rejoice and be glad in it...!